Teenage Body Image: As A Parent, How Do I Help?



Posted: Sunday, November 16, 2008

by
Karen Vincent Coaching

Recently the issue of body image has been a topic of concern for parents with whom I am working. One parent reported that her teenage daughter recently began focusing a lot of negative attention on her size compared to others, began eating less at meals and began spending a lot of time looking at model-like figures and comparing herself to them. This particular parent was concerned that an eating disorder could develop and rightfully so based on some of the signs she was observing. Have you ever heard your teenager saying, "I'm too thin or too fat", "My skin is too light or too dark", "I am too tall or too short"? If so, your teenager may be struggling with their body image. As a parent what do you do when you are concerned about your teenager's body image and it's potential negative impact on their functioning?

For starters, what is "Body Image"? Body image is psychological in nature and is influenced by one's own self esteem (how much one values themselves) and self worth and is learned over time. Body image is ever changing and is how one perceives their physical body and how they think others perceive it. Body image is shaped by those around someone, the messages one receives from others and the media and through one's own experiences in life. In sum, Body image is what one both sees and feels when they think about their body.

Adolescence is a very difficult time in general as teens are negotiating their place in the larger world and are often feeling insecure or confused. In addition, as we all know, there are many body changes which take place as a result of puberty and which can lower an individual's self esteem. Girls are three times more likely to have a negative body image according to the National Mental Health Information Center . This may be related to the fact that girls store more body fat during adolescents which changes the overall appearance and feel of their bodies. There is a lot of pressure placed on teens for how they "should" look which can feel overwhelming and can lead to a drastic response which does not take into account nutritional or medical concerns. It can be very confusing for teenagers to see tons of marketing for fast food and snacks and at the same time be looking at models, actors, singers and other public figures who are unusually thin or who appear "picture perfect".

As was the case with the parent mentioned at the beginning of this article, many parents want to be supportive to their teenager but at the same time are worried that an eating disorder could develop because their teen's body image is so poor. This is a legitimate concern The National Eating Disorders Association estimates that 5-10 million girls and women and 1 million boys and men struggle with eating disorders.

As a parent it is helpful to know some of the actual Signs and Symptoms of and Eating Disorder which include (this list is not meant to be inclusive) :

  1. Abnormal weight loss of 25% or more without any medical explanation
  2. A noticeable reduction in food intake and /or a denial of hunger
  3. Prolonged exercise despite exhaustion, fatigue or weakness
  4. Intense fears about gaining weight
  5. Purging after meals
  6. Binging sometimes and then restricting food significantly at other times
  7. Unusual patterns of handling food or eating food


If you believe your teen has or is developing an eating disorder you should seek professional psychological and medical treatment as soon as possible and be aware that the treatment process for a developed eating disorder can be a lengthy process. If you are concerned that your child has a poor body image but do not feel that they have any real eating disorder, the following suggestions may be helpful:

  1. Don't encourage your teen to eat, watch them eat, or initiate discussions about weight. This will just further draw attention to the issue and they may pick up on your nervousness about this issue.
  2. Don't speak negatively about food or weight and don't point out how good someone looks just because they are thin.
  3. Don't feel guilty as a parent if your teenager is struggling with body image it is not your fault and it is important that you do not focus on feelings of guilt but rather on ways you can offer support.
  4. Don't let your concerns cause you to neglect other things in your life such as outside interests or other family members who need your attention and support just as much as your teen who is struggling with their body image.
  5. Don't put them down or try to compare them to others this will only further reduce their low self esteem.
  6. Let them know that you are there to listen if THEY want to talk about it.
  7. Put a lot of focus on other things they do well not just on how they look so that they see their self worth as more than just physical appearance.
  8. Encourage your teen to be active doing things they enjoy rather than focusing on specific weight loss activities that are rigid and feel like a chore instead of fun.
  9. Encourage your teen to find something positive about themselves each day it may be a challenge at first but will help them to focus on their competencies and positive things they can offer others.
  10. Have fun and nutritious foods in the house so your teen does not feel guilty when they do want to snack.
  11. If at all possible (and this is very, very difficult), try to limit your teen's exposure to the media which portrays unrealistic body types.
  12. Compliment actions compliment what they do, not how they look.
  13. Love your child they will sense this and your acceptance is extremely important to them even if they don't show it!
Karen Vincent is founder of How To Parent A Teen and is a Certified Life Coach and Licensed Therapist. Karen has worked with teenagers and their parents for the last 15 years, helping them resolve their most challenging issues.

Karen has developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. Karen has also created and presented training programs for professionals including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents throughout the country.

In her work, Karen works with parents of teens throughout the country who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years.

To gain instant access to the FREE audio program titled 3 Powerful Strategies for Parents of Teenagers or to learn about additional coaching programs and products offered, go to www.howtoparentateen.com or call us at 1-888-272-1218.
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