Teenage Self Injury
Posted: Monday, April 20, 2009
by Karen Vincent
Karen Vincent Coaching
Having a teenager who is self injuring can be very, very scary for a parent. Teen self injury is an issue that has come out more in the news and media so it is being talked about more than in the past. It is important to note that many teens get piercings and / or tattoos. While this is concerning for a lot of parents, it is generally done because teens want to look cool and fit in and is not the same as teens who cut or burn themselves. If you are the parent of a teen who is excessively tattooing themselves or piercing themselves you may want to explore what is driving this behavior (especially if the tattooing or piercing is not being done professionally), however, generally this is about teens looking to create their own identity, trying to fit in or being rebellious.
Teens who cut or burn themselves usually keep this behavior very secretive and cut in places that are covered by clothes because they are ashamed of their behavior and know that it is not socially acceptable. It may be difficult for parents to pick up on warning signs because often times these teens appear to be doing well and are not displaying any apparent signs of distress. It is important to note that any of the signs below alone is not necessarily cause for alarm, however, noticing several of these signs in your teen may be cause for concern:
- Wearing long sleeve shirts or pants even when it is very warm out
- Acting vague and evasive or angry when asked about cuts, burns or scabs
- Refusing to wear a bathing suit in the summer (not related to being embarrassed by their weight) when typically they have enjoyed swimming
- Keeping of razors or lighters in their room
- Appearing more secretive than they usually do spending a lot of time alone in their room
- Disposing of bloody tissues in their room or bathroom
- Associating with a peer who is known to self injure
- Being suspected by anyone of self injuring (friends, teachers, family, etc)
Teens who self injure by cutting can cut with just about any item, however, they frequently use the following items: razor, thumbtacks, forks, knives, broken glass, paper clips, broken CD's needles, staples, fingernails, earrings and scissors. Teens who self injure by burning themselves may use the following items: lighters, matches, cigarettes and erasers that they rub on their skin to create friction. Other forms of self injuring can include biting, head banging, interfering with the healing of wounds, punching things excessively and hair pulling. While it is believed that self injury rates are higher in teenage girls, we do know that teenage boys also engage in this behavior.
If you suspect or know that your teen is self injuring you should ask them about it. They may feel a sense of relief and be very honest with you or they may continue to deny what they are doing. It is helpful for parents who are concerned about self injury and who are addressing this with their teenager to remain calm during the conversation. By remaining calm you are more likely to have your teen speak with you openly about what is going on for them. You can ask questions and let them know if you do not fully understand generally teens appreciate honesty and may take the opportunity to better explain things to you.
As a parent, you should not focus on blaming yourself for your teen's self injury. You are likely not at all responsible and focusing on this will not be helpful to either you or your teenager. If your teen is self injuring, it is important that you get them professional help. It is important for you, as the parent, to be involved in the treatment process with them and to help them learn to express what they are feeling inside and manage it in a healthier manner though the use of coping skills. You never want to bribe your teen to stop self injuring or try to spoil them after they self injure to get them to feel better. While I have seen parents do this for all the right reasons, what happens is that the teens see this as another benefit of self injuring and they lose any motivation they may have had to change their current behavior. Consulting with a professional can be very helpful for parents of teens who are self injuring. As is the case with anything, it you are concerned that your teen is suicidal or at serious risk, you should seek emergency services immediately.
This Article has been viewed 297 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.